Over the course of more than 35 years of coaching, mentoring and counseling people, plus more than that many years in observation of my own self, I have come to understand that we are not victims to our circumstances. Instead we victimize ourselves with our thinking about our circumstances.
What do I mean by that?
Something happens, a life happening moment, not good or bad or right or wrong, just life happening as it does in every moment. It could look like a co-worker making a request, or your mother forgetting your birthday, or rain on your outdoor wedding, or … whatever. Life is expressing Itself as It does, not as you expected it.
But inside of you, or me, or that one over there, there is upset. It rained on my parade! I planned my outdoor wedding in the Japanese Garden and now it is raining! How dare it!
Now this person is upset because it rained on their wedding day and they are not going to get what they had imagined was going to happen. Boo Hoo and Grrrrr.
Don’t we do that? Argue with reality? Pretending we have control over other people, situations, the weather or even our own thinking and feeling? [We tell ourselves we have control over our thoughts? Really? Then don’t think about an elephant. Make it a pink elephant.]
Life just happens. What is important is your interpretation of what has occurred. What if you aren’t a victim to circumstances, but a victim to the story you are telling yourself?
Something to ponder. I mean really ponder, as in pay attention and write to me what you notice (if you wish).
By the way, I officiated that wedding at the Japanese Gardens in the rain. Instead of getting upset, the bride and her mother got creative. They bought a bunch of umbrellas with bright polka dots. Those gathered cuddled close under the umbrellas in the rain while the bride, groom and myself were protected by the tea house awning which served as the altar.
It was memorable, lovely and loving, just the way it happened. Because life is like that. Lovely and loving, if we allow ourselves to see it that way.
Yours from Planet Joy,