Meet B O B

by Leslie Sann

Wonder rather than doubt is the root of all knowledge. ~Abraham Joshua Heschel

Raise your hand if you have ever been upset because someone or something didn’t show up in your life according to your expectations? Just wondering … if it is just me … or is this a part of the human experience we are all having?

Okay … I can see you … you can put your hand down now.

I’m writing to tell you about my new friend BOB. He is helping me choose kindness towards myself and others whenever something happens that disturbs my mind and triggers the grumps. BOB stands for choosing to give the Benefit Of the Benefit. BOB for short.

I like BOB a lot as he is giving double dividends … a benefit AND another benefit!

Let’s say something happens I wasn’t expecting or wanting. It is human to get upset when something goes amiss when we were planning on smooth sailing. It’s a survival strategy to come present to what is and make a choice based on new circumstances. It IS an upset and appropriately so. We need to pay attention now in order to navigate the situation.

The difficulty is with the mind. The mind loves to tell a story about everything. When things go awry it tends to judge, make wrong and complain rather that doing what it is very good at, observe, collect data and strategize.

Upset is just fine. Upset awakens us to move to a next step which is what we want, to move in the direction we’d prefer to go. The grumps don’t do it for us … the grumps keep us focused on what isn’t rather than call us present to what is.

This is where BOB comes in. We give the benefit of the benefit, meaning we assume nothing was done on purpose to hurt or harm us in any way. Stuff just happens. Life is like that. We extend the benefit of this assumption into our world and receive the benefit of this blessing upon ourselves in the form of calming the upset. Now we can access our inner resources to make choices and take action based on what is here, now.

I like BOB. What about you?