In Your Head

by Leslie Sann

When I fully understand that I live in a world of thought, and that the negative ones are bluffing, I can play this game with great joy.
~ Steve Chandler

I was having lunch with a friend. She lives in Arizona and was visiting Chicago on business. We were dining in a restaurant overlooking the river on a beautiful afternoon. The sky was cloudless and a tender autumn blue. The water was dancing in the sunlight. The food was yummy scrummy delicious. Especially the farm to table tender greens that populated my salad. I felt at ease. There was a smile in my heart. I was cheerful, engaged in our conversation, enjoying the gift of our sharing.

​​​​​​​Hmmm … life … living … savoring … unless of course we are not. I heard my companion say that if she was not careful she could destroy her magnificent and precious relationship to her beloved husband in her head.

I stopped her to jot that down so I could write to you about it as I am doing now. It is a shockingly simple, yet profound truth. WE (you, me) can destroy our lives, our relationship in our heads.

Reflect on that.

Years ago I remember observing myself in the midst of an internal stink storm while on a hike in beautiful country. The day was as lovely as the one I described above, yet I wasn’t having any of it. I was so internally upset I could have been in a dungeon, in solitary confinement for all that the outer circumstances mattered. Something had happened and I was upset and I was destroying my life in that moment in my head. The contrast between the beauty of the nature walk and the ugly of my mind was profound. I felt a prisoner to my thinking. At that time I just didn’t know what to do about it. It was like quicksand, sucking me into even more darkness and despair.

Maybe you have had a moment or even two like that. It’s hell. I call it running around the Hamster Wheel of Hades. And there is no way off the wheel unless you know how to shift up into a higher consciousness. A place where there are no rules, no judgments, no shoulds or should nots, no right or wrong thinking. A place where life just is what it is and we are loving it as it is.


Well, the truth is it is easy because it is our natural state. We just covered up the ease of joyful living with a lot of thinking and stories and expectations and what not.

The journey back to our joyous spirit is remembering to forget anything and everything that isn’t contributing to the blessing of this moment, here and now, exactly as it is, as we inhale and exhale this glorious gift of Life.

Regardless of our circumstances.

If you are destroying your life in your head, well consider a head job. I highly recommend it. It’s like getting a hair cut on the inside. Cutting away the stinking thinking that is producing misery and despair and replacing it with a fresh new look that will shine from the inside out.

Joy is present here and now. If you are not living in joy, what are you doing instead?

I love helping people lift back up to the joy of themselves. Call me if you are stuck and want a nudge back into joy.