Beyond “Thanks”
By Leslie Sann
Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and leaving it on the shelf.
—William Arthur Ward
We all thrive on making a positive difference in one another’s lives. Making a positive difference nourishes us. It reminds us we belong and that our actions matter.
There’s a way to say thank you that goes beyond the usual “thanks.”
To deepen your experience of gratitude, name what happened and how it contributed to your life.
Let me show you.
There’s a big difference between:
“Thanks, you’re terrific.”
and:
“I’m inspired by how clear and calm you were yesterday when things were chaotic. You showed me what’s possible. Your steadiness changed the whole atmosphere. Thank you.”
One is ritualized politeness. The other is specific, human, and connective. “Here’s the difference you made in my life.”
How to Express Gratitude
- Name the action: What happened?
Example: My spouse picked me up at the airport after a long overseas flight. - Notice how you feel now as you remember the occurrence.
Gratitude lives in the present, not in the past. - Put it together.
“Thank you for picking me up at the airport. I feel loved and cared for. You made my day easier and more relaxed.”
Not only are you sharing your gratitude with the person — you’re also tuning into the gift you received, taking it in more deeply.
Gratitude Toward Yourself
Same formula.
“Wow, I appreciate you, Leslie.”
Continue with specificity:
“I appreciate you for staying true to your exercise commitment. I feel strong and vital. Moving that piece of furniture was easy because of it. Thank you for your discipline. You rock!”
Notice the shift?
It’s not praise.
It’s sincere recognition. Recognition helps us see the goodness we are and that we contribute.
Practically Speaking
A few examples:
- Thanks for the ride to the doctor last week. My car was in the shop, and no one was home to take me. I couldn’t have gone without you.
- Thank you for your ideas during the meeting. They lifted the direction of the whole conversation.
- I’m touched that you offered to watch your sister. I needed the rest. Thank you for stepping in.
Try This
- Recall something someone did for you.
- Name how you feel in this moment as you remember it.
- Identify how their action made your life better.
- Put words on your grateful heart. Let them know the difference they made.
We change our lives, and the lives around us, when we speak our gratitude out loud.
It’s simple.
And it will shift your experience of life and the people you share it with.
It is the season of thankfulness.
Who will you share your gratitude with today?
Blessings and Joy, 